Greatest Conviction

Being the Beloved

...in such a perfectionist driven society, in our American culture, and even in the Christian culture where it seems especially as a woman that the lie "You are not enough" whether you are not beautiful enough, smart enough, Godly enough, skinny enough, funny enough, etc.. is constantly told to you through the media, peers, churches all the time, at the end of the day it is the most freeing feeling to know that as a daughter of Christ that you are are already loved unconditionally.

This is so powerful to me, especially because so many other types of love are conditional. It is such a weakness even as a Christian fully knowing that I am fully known and fully loved unconditionally-- to still desire to feel valued, liked, loved & worthy of love in the eyes of those who are only have the capacity to, outside of Christ- love conditionally, and I realize the danger in this temptation, especially as a people pleaser of making idols out of those around me and desiring their validation.

In the book "Here & Now" by Henri Nouwen, he talks about how Jesus was tempted by Satan to prove that that He was worth being loved. The "tempter" said to him do something "useful" ( turning stones into bread), or "sensational"(throwing yourself down from a high tower), or do something that brings you "power"(paying satan homage). I feel like we too are tempted by Satan every day to do these things in order to win admiration and affection from others, but like Jesus, so we should too should respond to these things by saying" I don't have to prove that I am worthy of love. I am the Beloved of God, the One on whom God's favor rests" . This freedom of not having to prove to others we are worthy of love, frees us to be ourselves, to love others deeply, to have compassion, to not judge, and to not fear being judged.....

If I've learned anything in the past year, especially after the ending of a relationship where I felt parts of my heart were publically exposed & naturally judged -- I've learned it's impossibly to make everyone happy, that you cannot and do not have to explain or justify yourself or your heart to everyone, and that no one no matter what their authority may be their judgement is still manipulated by the world. God Himself is the only person's opinion you should care about, and after putting Him first, He will take care of the details in everything else.

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather in spite of ourselves"- Victor Hugo